Weight, Wrinkles and Wrong Doings

I'm in a quandary. I think it must be the moon phases or the after Christmas blahs, or maybe it's my age. I'm tired of trying to figure out the cause and ready to start formulating a cure.

What makes us restless as we get older? Why does it seem some people age gracefully and some of us look like we've played our last game in the middle of a cow pen and slid into home plate with our britches torn and dirty and covered from head to toe with crap? I fall into the latter category, by the way.

I'm going to take my life back and stop complaining about weight, wrinkles, and wrong doings. It's a new year and it's time for a new me. Amen

Resolution Time

I've been doing a lot of thinking about things I want to change or achieve in 2009. The list, so far, is longer than anyone wants to sit through and besides, I can make all the promises in the world but I won't keep them so why bother?

After giving it lots of thought, I think I'll list a few resolutions that I'm sure I can keep.

1. Not lose 30 pounds by 2010. (2010?? Are you kidding me? I'm that old???????)

2. Not run a marathon.

3. Not stop eating dessert.

4. Not be stressed out most of the time.

There, now I feel much better since I've made resolutions I'm sure I will keep. I hope I prove myself wrong.

I guess only time will tell.

Lameness Abounds

Dang, you'd think if I was going to start blogging and make all kinds of wild promises, I'd at least give it the old college try and post more than once in two months, right?

I thought so too but noooooooo. Christmas kicked my butt and now 2009 is threatening me bodily harm as well. What did I do to deserve this abuse? Oh yes, I remember now. Uh hmmm....let's just move on, shall we?

What are your plans for new years eve? Whatever you do, don't drink and drive or drive and drink or drink and drunk dial. Those things are never as good an idea the next day as they seemed at the moment. Trust me, I know this because I've been told.

Happy new year folks. Have fun but be safe.

Hey Y'all

I'm a rambler. No, not a gambler....I said a rambler. I like to ramble on and on about little of nothing but sometimes I've got really good things to say so you should listen up so you don't miss the good parts of my random ramblings.

Damn, I should have named this blog Random Ramblings of a Raucously Righteous Retard. But I guess that's not a very politically correct thing to say, now is it? I confess. You made me tell the truth so I'll tell the truth. I'm. Not. That. Interested. In. Being. Politically. Correct. so deal with it or go elsewhere.

Don't worry, I will try to be nice and say things like "oh my, I see a very sweet and beautiful midget over there." I won't be crude. GAW.

I'll start adding pictures and maybe we'll play games and there will be contests and someone will win big prizes like Wii, or stand mixers, or 500 in cash or even better things like trips to Hawaii, or Jets. O.k so maybe I'd better start a little lower on the prize pole and give out the tiny worthless things first just to see how many of you ingrates stick around for the small stuff.

Get ready. We'll have our very first contest, uh, just as soon as I figure out what I want y'all to do to win something fabulous.

Tah Tah Dahlings